Why Here, Why Now?
by ColorOfAngels
Summary: It's been five long years since Rhett has last seen Scarlett. When he happens to see her in a hotel restaurant, will he be able to handle seeing her with another man?
1. Chapter 1

It had been five years, five long years since he had last seen her. Four years since she had signed the divorce papers he had sent her. Three years since he gone back to Atlanta looking for her, only to find that she had sold the Peachtree house and her businesses, but left the large cash settlement he had given her and vanished without a trace. Five long years and here she was, sitting in the dining room of the very Parisian hotel that he was staying at, looking as if it had only been mere days since he had last seen her, dining with another man. She looked as beautiful as he remembered her, perhaps even more so in her stunning, but tasteful green and gold silk evening gown. And while she looked happy, he couldn't help but notice that the old fire was absent from her eyes.

He had every intention of turning around and finding somewhere else to eat, there was no shortage of acceptable restaurants inParisafter all, but before he could rip his eyes away from her laughing and joyous countenance she looked up and they locked eyes.

Scarlett had been listening to one of her dining companions many amusing anecdotes, when she felt the very atmosphere of the room change. It had been five years since she had felt this way, all the small hairs on the back of her neck stood up in response of the feeling someone's eyes on her. Yes, it had been five very long years and she knew this could only mean one thing, Rhett was somewhere close by. Praying that she was wrong, she glanced up towards the entrance of the dining room and there he was standing there staring directly at her, looking as handsome as the day she met him. As soon as they locked glances he started moving towards her and Scarlett had to concentrate on controlling her breathing.

"Well if it isn't Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Bu–"

Scarlett jerked unconsciously upsetting her almost empty wine glass, causing Rhett to take a step back before could finish her rather impressive list of names.

"O'Hara," she said quickly as both she and her date quickly tried to clean up the mess she had made. "I go just by O'Hara now, I find it's easier and less painful for everyone involved," Scarlett explained shooting Rhett a significant glance.

"Yes," the still unnamed man chuckled, "this poor lady had been widowed so many times that I fear for my life every time every time I get a cold just because of our association."

"Well," Rhett told the man, "I assure you that there were extenuating circumstances with the death of each of her...marriages."

"Oh did you know Scarlett when she lived in America? I'm sorry, that's not very proper of me," he said quickly, aware of his social faux pas, "but I'm just so curious. You see, my Scarlett has always been very secretive about her life before she showed up on the London social circuit, when was it my dear, four years ago?"

Rhett did not fail to notice the man's easy use of Scarlett's first name or his endearments. And although he had long since thrown her from her place in his heart and life, he couldn't help but feel a little ill at another man referring to her as _his_.

"Yes, I do believe that is was about four years ago," Scarlett confirmed. "And I don't like to talk about my life before I came to England because I think my mysterious past just adds to my many charms, don't you agree?" she asked, reverting to her southern belle tricks to try to steer the conversation away from the dangerous topic of her past husbands. "I'm sorry, I haven't introduced you two. Rhett this is Andrew Cunningham, he has the premier law practice in all of London. Andy, this is Rhett Butler, he...well to be honest I never have quite figured out what Rhett does exactly."

"Well perhaps my mysteriousness is part of my charm as well," Rhett quipped. He knew exactly what Scarlett was doing, but he let her do it, for now.

"Well it is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Butler, any friend of Scarlett is a friend of mine," Andrew said graciously. "Please sit down and join us for a moment."

"That's very kind of you Mr. Cunningham, although I'm not sure that Scarlett here would still consider me a friend after what we have been through together all of these years," Rhett said with a chuckle as he sat down next to Scarlett, even as he said he shouldn't, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Have you two known each other long?" Andrew asked conversationally, trying to hide how eager he was to get this rare glimpse into Scarlett's mysterious past.

"Oh yes, many years. Let me think, we met," he paused even though both him and Scarlett both remembered exactly when and under which circumstances they had first interacted all those years ago, "yes I believe it was the day the war started. At a barbeque held at one of her neighbor's plantation if I remember correctly. She had just broken something, isn't that right Scarlett?" Rhett asked with an innocent expression as the waiter came by and refilled their glasses.

"If by broke something, you mean I hurled that ugly little bowl at the wall in a rage, shattering it into a thousand pieces, then yes you are right, I had just broken something," she responded calmly as she took a rather large sip of her newly refilled Bordeaux. She knew he was toying with her, and she was not about to play his games. Not anymore.

Rhett laughed loudly at both Scarlatti's honesty and the shocked look on her companion's face. Rhett too was surprised, he had expected her to get angry, or flustered, or at least try to skirt around the issue, but of course he should know by know that Scarlett rarely did what was expected of her.

"Why on earth would you do that?" Andrew asked, visually taken aback upon learning that Scarlett would do something like that. As long as he had known her, she had never been anything but a perfectly proper lady.

Sighing deeply, she took another sip of her wine before explaining. "I was very young at the time, hardly sixteen and I had just found out that the man that I thought I loved was going to marry another girl even though he had led me to believe that he was going to marry me. At least that's how my vain eyes perceived the situation. We exchanged words, and I got very angry, believe it or not I used to have a terrible temper, and threw a bowl across the room not realizing that Rhett had witnessed the whole embarrassing scene."

"And she hasn't been able to get rid of me since," Rhett joked teasingly.

"I didn't always want to get rid of you," Scarlett said softly looking down at the wine she was absently swirling in her glass, with a sad look in her eyes that only Rhett caught.

"I forget sometimes, just how young you were when I met you," Rhett admitted in the same soft tone.

"Still very much a child, but then it did take me a long time to grow up," Scarlett responded, looking up from beneath her lashes to meet Rhett's studied gaze.

They shared a meaningful look, but Mr. Cunningham was preoccupied trying to imagine Scarlett acting as she had in their story to notice.

"I can't even imagine you getting that angry Scarlett," Andrew finally said, the disbelief clear in his tone. "In all of the years I have known you I don't think I have ever heard you raise your voice let alone be angry enough to throw something."

"And I can't believe that you have never been regaled by Scarlett's infamous Irish temper," Rhett replied incredulously, forcing himself to break the gaze he had found himself in with his ex-wife.

"Well maybe Andy just doesn't have the same talent for infuriating me as you do Rhett, or perhaps I have actually changed a bit since last you saw me," Scarlett said simply, bringing her glass up to her lips once more.

"Touché my pet, touché," Rhett responded causing Scarlett to choke on her wine and Mr. Cunningham to look at him queerly. Rhett saw this and quickly changed the subject. "So you mentioned that you now reside in London, what brings you to Paris?" Rhett felt Scarlett tense beside him, making him even more curious as to the answer of his question.

"Actually we are just here on holiday celebrating our recent engagement," Andrew said with obvious pride in his voice.

All the air rushed out of Rhett's chest and he felt like he had just been sucker punched in the stomach. Now he understood why Scarlett suddenly went so pale. However, true to form he masked those feelings and acted as if this news meant nothing to him.

"Well then, I suppose congratulations are in order," Rhett said glancing over at Scarlett who was now guzzling what was left in her glass and signaling to the waiter to fill it once more.

"Thank you," Andrew responded genuinely, "If you happen to be in town at the time, you must come to the wedding."

Rhett chuckled sardonically, all too aware of the irony in the man unknowingly inviting his fiancée's estranged ex-husband to their wedding. "I'll see what I can do."

"So how long have you two been together," Rhett asked. It wasn't a socially acceptable question and frankly he didn't even really want to know how quickly Scarlett moved on, especially after she had said she loved him, but his masochistic curiosity drove him to keep asking questions.

"Well, we met the day she moved in next door, but as I'm sure you are aware that she had just recently lost her third husband the year before and she was still very deep in morning. It took me three whole years of constant prodding to finally convince her to let me take her out as more than a friend. And then it took me the past three months of asking her to marry me every day before she finally broke down and said yes last week. Scarlett may be a lady, but she can be a stubborn as a mule," Andrew said looking at Scarlett fondly, as she downed another glass of wine.

"Yes, as stubborn as a mule in a horses harness," Rhett said causing Scarlett to set down her now empty wine glass with a bang. Deciding he had heard more than enough he stood, "but now I will let you get back to your celebrations."

"Yes, it's about time for us to be getting to the theater anyways. Are you ready to go darling?" Andrew asked Scarlett.

Feeling slightly dizzy from drinking so much wine so quickly, Scarlett rose without saying a word and allowed Andy to place a hand on her lower back and guide her from the restaurant. It wasn't until they were nearly outside that she allowed herself to glance back and take one last look at the man that she would love until the day she died.

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REVISED 8/19/11


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thanks for all the great reviews... I'm a feedback whore and I get so excited every time I get that review response email, it really does help inspire me to write so this one is for you guys!... So here is chapter two!

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Rhett watched emotionlessly as the woman he would love until the day he died walked away with her fiancé.

As much as he tried to deny it, it was true and there was nothing he could do to change the fact that he was madly, truly, and deeply in love with Scarlett O'Hara.

It's not that he hadn't meant what he said all those years ago when he walked away from their marriage. He had honestly believed that his love had run out and that he had nothing else to give to her. It had certainly felt that way at the time. So he went home toCharlestonto lick his wounds, tired physically and emotionally, but ready to do whatever it took to win back his place in proper society. This kept him busy and relatively happy, well maybe not happy, but complacent, long enough that he felt that he had finally broken the spell that the green eyed minx had over his heart for so many years. It wasn't until almost a year after he had leftAtlantathat he woke up in the middle of the night with a single, startling realization. He missed Scarlett.

He was so furious with himself for feeling anything for his wife that he went out the next day and had his lawyer draw up divorce papers which he promptly sent off to Scarlett with a letter explaining that she could keep the house and he would give her a large cash settlement as well as continuing to send the monthly allowance he already sent her for the house if she would just sign the papers without a fuss. When he promptly received the papers back, he was fully expecting to see them not signed with an angry note telling him that she would never give him a divorce as long as she had breath left in her body. But he was wrong. They were signed and dated everywhere they needed to be with every T crossed and every I dotted. Enclosed with legal papers with a note, visibly stained with dried tears, blank but the single word _goodbye_ written in her slanted hand.

He was surprised, and, if he was going to be completely honest with himself, a little hurt, that she had given in without a fight, but that just proved it to himself that he was doing the right thing. To him, this proved that she was lying a year ago and that she had never really loved him at all and the money he offered was enough that she was willing to damage her already shredded reputation a little more. Even though this was what he wanted, a part of him was still saddened that after all the years he spent chasing her and all the years he spent married to her, that this was the end. They were divorced. He had cut his final tie to her.

And while his mind accepted this fact, his traitorous heart refused to catch up, and for the next year he pretended not to pine away for her. He pretended that she wasn't the one he dreamed about or the one he thought about when he made his journeys down toCharleston's red light district. It got to the point where everything reminded him of the woman who used to be his wife, whether it was the green trim on a ladies dress, a song that they had danced to long ago, the smell of jasmine that always seemed to linger on her or even one of her favorite foods on the menu of a restaurant he was eating at, it felt like the whole world was screaming Scarlett. Finally one spring morning he woke up and couldn't take it anymore. He packed, went down the station and got on the next train headed toAtlanta. He didn't know what he was going to do when he got there, he had no plans or expectations, all he knew was that he had to see her.

When he arrived inAtlantahe was shocked to find that she had sold the house and it was now being used as a boys boarding school. He was even more taken aback when he went to the bank and found out that she hadn't touched a dime of the money that he had sent her over the past year nor the money he granted her from the divorce. But the biggest surprise of all came from a conversation with Ashley Wilkes.

After his disturbing trip to the bank he had went to the cemetery to visit his precious Bonnie and as he was leaving he ran into the honorable Mr. Wilkes. He couldn't stop himself from asking how Scarlett was, as he assumed that Ashley was the reason she had signed the divorce papers so easily and that's where she had gone after she sold the house.

"That's a good question," Ashley replied brusquely, walking past him. "One that I would be curious to know the answer to myself."

"What do you mean?" Rhett asked, his curiosity now piqued.

"No one has seen or heard anything from Scarlett in over a year and to be honest I'm worried about her," Ashley said honestly as he stopped and turned around.

"Why? Scarlett's a big girl, she can take care of herself," Rhett told him, irritated that Ashley was worried about _his_ wife... ex-wife.

"Well you didn't see her when she came back toAtlantadid you," Ashley said almost accusingly.

"Came back from where?"

"Came back fromTara, after Mammy died."

Rhett was rocked by the news of Mammy's death and Ashley could see it on his face before he had a chance to replace his mask.

"Good god man," Ashley exclaimed, his anger at Rhett and his last memories of Scarlett causing him to forget his code of gentlemanly conduct, "I know that you two were separated, but didn't you check up on her at all?"

Rhett's stony silence was answer enough.

Ashley sighed heavily and began his story. "After Melly's funeral, Scarlett went toTarawhere she stayed until Mammy died about eight months later. She came back toAtlantaafter the funeral and the first time I saw her I scarcely recognized her. I won't lie to you, she looked awful, she had lost far too much weight, was pale as a ghost and looked as if she hadn't slept in years. She never left the house except when she went to church on Sunday with the children. But seeing her once a week was enough for the whole town to see that she wasn't well and only getting steadily worse as time went by. Dr. Meade even came to me once, asking if I would try to talk to her, because if something didn't change surely she was going to die."

Rhett blanched at this thought and took a sharp intake of breath, but Ashley continued to speak.

"I tried to call on her everyday for two weeks but she refused to see me. The servants confessed that she refused to see anyone but the children. They didn't want to tell me but they hoped I could do something about it. They told me that during the day she locked herself away in her room, only coming out for supper when she would sit with Wade and Ella while they ate, then she would spend time with them until they went to bed and then she would lock herself back up again. I pleaded with her through the door to come out, to let me in, even talk to me through the door, but there was nothing I could do to convince her." Ashley stopped for a moment, rubbing absently at the light stubble on his cheek as he steeled himself to finish his tale. "Then one day, about four months after she came back toAtlanta, just about a year ago now, she came to my house and informed me that she was leavingAtlantaforever and that if Beau or I ever needed anything, that I could contact her through her lawyer. But other than that she would not be in contact with me. That she had stopped by to say goodbye. Within the next three days she had sold everything packed up the children and left and no one, including her family knows where she went. It's like she dropped of the face of the earth."

Both men were quiet for several long moments as they mused over what Ashley had just said, both wondering where she might have gone to, Rhett for the first time and Ashley having long since lost count. Ashley of course having no idea what could have caused her to leave so suddenly, while Rhett instantly realized that it was the divorce papers that had caused her exodus from the city she had once loved so much.

"And that's why I'm worried about her," Ashley finally said, breaking the silence, "I know she is the strongest woman that I have ever met, but everyone, including Scarlett has a breaking point and she had long surpassed hers. No one deserves to go through that much loss, that much pain, in a whole life time, let alone in such a short span of years, especially not her. She has hard a hard life and we haven't made it any easier. It took both of us years to do it, but we did it, we broke her."

Rhett was going to interrupt and say something about this but Ashley held up a hand to silence him a continued speaking.

"Don't think I don't know the part I played in the destruction of Scarlett's life. I used her and her supposed love for me to my benefit and let her hold onto hope and think that I loved back so that I could continue to use her. I was utterly selfish, feeding off of her life and strength, unknowingly and to a large degree knowingly wreaking havoc in her life because I was to much of a coward to deal with mine without her. Don't think that I don't know that I was a cause of your failed marriage and for that I apologize though I know that could never make up for it. But don't think that I don't feel immense guilt for that fact and don't think I'm not haunted every day by the look in her eyes when she came to say goodbye. There was no trace of the woman I once knew in those eyes, no life, no passion, no vitality, none of that spark that was Scarlett, only a haunted woman with a mangled and defeated soul. If you had seen her, you would stay up at night too, not being able to sleep as your conscience replayed everything you did to break her spirit. Now if you will excuse me, I'm here to visit my wife." And with that Ashley pushed past Rhett and walked to where Melanie rest.

Rhett walked back to the hotel in a daze, his mind reeling at this new information. He ended up locking himself up and drinking himself into a week long stupor, thinking about what Ashley had said and realizing that maybe had more of a part in the dissolution of their marriage then he had wanted to admit. A week after he arrived inAtlanta, he knew what he had to do, he had to find Scarlett. For the next several years he looked up and down the south and even up north for Scarlett, never hearing so much as a whisper of her whereabouts. After two years of disappointment, he finally gave up and returned home toCharlestonwhere he had been sulking the past year, before taking the trip abroad for business. And now when he had given up on ever finding her, she appears, sitting eating dinner in a hotel restaurant in the middle ofParis.

And as he watched her walk away, he kicked himself for not thinking of looking for her inEngland. For some reason he hadn't thought her capable of picking up and moving to a foreign country where she didn't know anybody, but he should have known better than to doubt Scarlett of capable of anything that she put her mind to.

He couldn't believe that she was getting married again. He had been so sure that she had loved him and that's why she was so distraught over the divorce that she had to leave not only Atlanta but now he knew the country, but here she was seemingly happy and betrothed to another man. But he saw that fleeting glance that she gave him right before she walked out of the restaurant and if that wasn't love and longing then he didn't what was. All he knew was that he was to old to watch her marry someone else and wait for them to have an accident and die. Than he remembered that she probably still thought that he still felt nothing but – what was it? – pity and an odd sense of kindness towards her. He knew he needed to talk to her before she did something they both would regret.

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A/N I know it seems like not a lot happened in this chapter but I wanted to bring everyone up to speed on what happened during the time gap. I promise some Rhett/Scarlett interaction in the next chapter, so let me/ know if you want it!

REVISED 8/20/11


	3. Chapter 3

The ride back to the hotel from the theater was a quiet one and Scarlett was grateful that Andy let her be. If he had asked her how she enjoyed the production she wouldn't have been able to answer with any form of honestly as she didn't have any clear memory of what she had just watched. She was tired, no, exhausted, after her long night of acting like nothing was wrong. At least they were leaving Paris to go back to England in the morning and then she would never see Rhett again and life could go back to normal. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

She was well aware that she still loved Rhett and she knew that she would love him forever, but what she hadn't realized was that it was going to hurt so much to see him again. That those old calloused wounds on her heart could be ripped open so easily. Why did he have to appear so suddenly and look so good right when she was moving on with her life, right when she thought she had finally figured things out? She had fully convinced herself that she was over Rhett, that she had accepted that he was no longer a part of her life. How was it that a fifteen minute conversation with someone she hadn't seen in five years make her heart ache like it was.

She was thankful when they arrived at the hotel and Andy dropped her off at her room. Giving her fiancée a distracted kiss she unlocked the door, quickly slipping in and closing it behind her. She leaned against the solid oak with her eyes closed, happy that this excruciating mess of a night was over.

When she finally opened her eyes she startled a little when she realized that she wasn't alone. Rhett was sitting on the edge of her bed looking at the daguerreotypes that she took with her wherever she went. One was of all three of her children and the other was of her, Rhett and Bonnie looking very much like the perfect family they never were.

"How are the children?" Rhett asked quietly, not looking up from their black and white likenesses.

"They're wonderful, Wade is attending Oxford to become a lawyer and Ella gets prettier everyday. Why do I feel that I should be more surprised to find you waiting for me alone, in my hotel room, in the middle of the night?"

"Oxford? I thought he wanted to go to Harvard," Rhett questioned, ignoring Scarlett's latter statement.

"Andy went to Oxford and he has been quite an influence on Wade the past couple years," she explained evenly, pulling off her evening gloves one finger at a time.

Rhett's countenance darkened visibly as he thought of that man having so much influence over the boy that he considered his son. "Speaking of your beloved, where is he?"

"If you are referring to Andy, I would assume he is in his room, you know me better than to ask me that," Scarlett said, remaining calm even though she knew what he was implying. "If you're simply here to try to make me angry, let me save you some time and trouble by telling you that it's not going to work. So unless you have some other matter of importance to speak to me about I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Why aren't you asking me to leave now Scarlett? Regardless of why I'm here. You have every right to," he asked, curious as to her response, but also thankful that Scarlett had just basically told him that she had never slept with that Cunningham fellow, the very thought of that man touching _his _Scarlett made him physically ill.

"Well Rhett, since you went to the trouble of breaking into my hotel room and waiting for me all night, I am assuming that you have a reason to be here. Besides irritating me of course, which you seem to take pleasure in, although that is looking more and more likely to be the sole reason you are here by the minute," she responded calmly, if not laced with a bit of sarcasm.

Rhett evaluated his ex-wife for a moment who was still leaning against the door her arms crossed negligently across her chest, gloves dangling carelessly from one hand, with a slightly amused expression on her face but her eyes conspicuously blank. "Where did your temper go Scarlett? A few years ago you would have been screaming at me by now, ordered me from the room, or thrown something at me, or even thrown something at me while ordering me from the room."

"We discussed this at dinner," she sighed almost patronizingly. "I don't get angry anymore. I'm tired and it takes to much energy to be angry."

"Certainly you're never to tired too rage at me. I thought it was your favorite past time," Rhett joked, with his cockiest of grins that never failed to get her riled up in the past.

Scarlett simply raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, "I have had enough of extreme emotions, that much passion whether it be in love or hate, or anything in between didn't do me or anyone else in my life any good, so I have given up on the whole idea of it."

"But that's who you are Scarlett. Without your passion what does that leave you?" Rhett asked unable to believe what he was hearing.

"It leaves me...," Scarlett trailed off unsure of how to explain it to him as she had never been very eloquent when it came to emotions, especially in terms of her own. "It leaves me complacency, calmness, a certain level of peace and quiet that I have never had in my life. It seems like I have finally become the lady my mother and Mammy so wanted me to be. It's a shame that I had to loose everything including them to achieve it."

"But where is the fun in being a proper lady?" Rhett tried goading her, like he had done so many times over the years.

"Perhaps I'm not looking for fun anymore," Scarlett said, pushing off of the door and crossing over to sit on the chaise longue opposite of the bed Rhett was sitting on. "Besides I tried life your way and it was a lot of things, but fun it was certainly not. I found that _fun_ is overrated, now I just want peace."

"And will marrying this Cunningham fellow bring you peace?"

Scarlett was quiet for a moment as she considered his question seriously. It was the same question she asked herself every day for three months, every day that Andy had asked her to marry him. After a pregnant pause, she finally decided to give Rhett the same answer she had given herself.

"All I have left of the person I once was, the life I used to live, is my children, and my years left with them are quickly running short. Wade is already in college and Ella is only four years younger that I was when I married Charles, although I think she has more sense than I did to get married so young, but that's besides the point. Soon they will be off in the world living their own lives and where will that leave me? I don't know how many more years I have on this earth, hopefully more then less, but I know I don't want to spend them alone," she concluded. "And didn't you once tell me that I was born to be married?" she added with a ghost of a smile passing over her lips.

"Yes, but only because I was trying to get you to marry me," he confessed truthfully.

"Well I always did take what you said to me at face value," she shrugged, negligently dropping her gloves onto the seat next to her.

Rhett continued on as if that last exchange did not happen. "So besides companionship, what else would you be gaining from marrying him, because I can tell you don't love him, although that never stopped you in the past. Is it money? Because you know I would have continued supporting you."

"No Rhett, I don't want your money and I don't need his. I dare say that I have more money than even I could spend in a lifetime. You see Grandfather Robilliard passed about a month before you sent the divorce papers–"

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Scarlett shook her head, "Don't be, I'm not, but regardless, for some reason the old man left everything to me, leaving me quite independently wealthy. Trust me, I would have taken the money you offered me in the divorce if I had needed it. I may have changed in the past few years but I'm not noble enough or stupid enough to turn down money I need simply to prove a point. I guess I could have taken the money out of spite as it was rather a lot, but then again I didn't want you to think the money was why I signed so maybe I was trying to prove a point. I don't even know anymore, it feels like that was a lifetime ago. So no, I am not marrying for money nor am I marrying for love, but didn't you also say that it was the height of bad form for husbands and wives to love each other?"

Rhett started to interrupt again but Scarlett raised a hand to silence him. "I know, that was just another one of the darling tidbits of wisdom that you fed to me to get what you wanted, that I foolishly believed. No matter, I don't love him and he knows it, but he loves me and I do care a lot about him so perhaps that will be enough."

"I loved you when I married you and you were _fond_ of me and that wasn't enough," Rhett pointed out, disturbed at the way Scarlett was speaking.

"Yes, but there are also some important differences between you and Andy. You see he tells me he loves me and treats me accordingly. You and I, we were children the way we treated and tortured each other. My relationship with Andy is one of two adults and is based on mutual kindness and respect. He never makes me feel worthless or belittled or like_ a pet_," Scarlett said with a hardness in her tone. She quickly closed her eyes, took a deep breath and when she opened them they were once more swiped clean of emotion. "But that is the past and what is done is done and there is nothing I can do to change it."

"And he also doesn't have the shadow of Ashley Wilkes hovering over him every minute of the day," Rhett said bitterly both because that was how he felt and in yet another attempt to rile her up and catch some glimpse of the old Scarlett. He didn't enjoy how much like... well, him, she had become over the last five years.

Scarlett gave him an ironic sort of half smile that never reached her eyes, "Or perhaps he just isn't aware that the ghost that is hovering over him is still very much alive."

Triumph flashed in Rhett's mind, now he was getting somewhere. "And did this particular ghost happen to pick the lock of your hotel room in the middle of the night?"

"I don't know Rhett, and if I did you would be the last person I would tell."

Rhett was quiet for a moment as he tried to grasp these recent turn of events, he didn't like how many times in the past five minutes that she had used his own words against him. She had all but told him that she loved him, but was as reluctant to say it as he was to tell her that he still loved her. He knew that it was time to place his pride aside and for once in his life tell her the truth.

"Scarlett, I don't want you to marry him," he said finally.

Scarlett took a deep breath, stood and walked to the window looking out onto the street, her back to him. "Well I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm afraid that you don't have much say on the matter. You gave up any right to have an opinion on my life when you mailed those divorce papers."

Rhett followed her to the window and saw her tense as she sensed his approaching presence, "I was a fool Scarlett and I never should have sent them. I was hurting and confused and I took it out on you." He placed his hands on her waist and when she didn't shrug them off he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Please say you still love me, because I love you, more than anything in the world."

Scarlett spun around in his arms and looked up into his dark eyes and for one of the few times in all the years she had known him, she saw what he was really feeling in them and she knew he was telling the truth. "I do love you Rhett, with all of my heart. I don't know why I do and Lord knows I've tried everything I could think of to stop, but you are the only man I have ever truly loved and the only one I ever will." Rhett leaned down to kiss her, but she quickly turned her head. "And that is why I have to ask you to leave and never contact me again," she said moving out of his grasp and turning back around to face the window once more.

"What are you talking about Scarlett?" Rhett asked, his arms dropping to his sides, his fists clenching in frustration. "You just said you love me and I know that I love you. You aren't still planning on marrying that lawyer are you, you don't love him, what can he give you that I can't?"

Scarlett continued to stare out the window, not seeing anything, "Andy is a good man Rhett, he was my first friend when I moved to London, years before we starting seeing each other in this way. Wade and Ella adore him and he has been an excellent influence on both of them, especially Wade. He is kind, honest, respected, he makes me laugh. And most importantly when I am with him, I don't think about you." She said that last part so softly that he almost didn't hear her. He thought she was done but she spoke again. "I know that Andy will care for me and never purposely hurt me. You asked what he can give me that you can't? Security and stability, not financially but emotionally."

"So you are willing to give up love for _emotional stability_?" Rhett asked incredulously, unable to believe that this is the same woman he was married to for so many years. He took her by the shoulders and spun her around so that she was facing him. "I think that you are scared Scarlett and I wont stand for it. You are many things, but a coward is not one of them and I wont let you do this to yourself, to me, to _us_."

"Haven't you listened to a word I have said all night? There is no _us_...not anymore. I'm not looking for love anymore, just understanding. I'm too old and too tired to go through it all again. I just want to know that my husband will come home every evening and be happy to see me. That he will be there when I go to bed at night and when I wake up the next morning. I don't want an exciting life anymore, I want to know what to expect each day. I already told you, I just want some peace," Scarlett said dropping her eyes to the floor and slumping her shoulders in defeat.

"I don't believe that Scarlett, that isn't what you want, you may think it is now, but you're just confused. Whether it be in a few months or a few years a part of the old Scarlett will realize that this isn't what you want at all. Scarlett, darling, I can't always be waiting for your husbands to die," Rhett joked reaching out to stroke her cheek. "Come back to me, we could be so happy together."

"What are you doing Rhett, why here, why now?" Scarlett asked so heart wrenchingly that Rhett was sure his heart ripped in two. "Why did you have to come here? I was alright without you, I was moving on with my life, I was picking up the pieces and putting them back together. Don't you get it, the old Scarlett doesn't exist any more. The woman you want is dead, she died the day Mammy did, she was the last piece of the old world and she took the old Scarlett with her and she isn't coming back," Scarlett said moving from Rhett's grasp and going to sit on the edge of the bed and placing her head wearily in her hands.

"Scarlett–"

"I can't do it again Rhett, I have cried all my tears and I refuse to shed another one." Scarlett looked up, directly into his eyes, "A year Rhett, every day for a year I cried myself to sleep over you. It almost killed me, I think that if it wasn't for the children that it would of. I can't... I wont, risk going through that again. I meant what I said in that note I sent with the divorce papers, that was my goodbye. It you had ever come back during that year I would have been that happiest woman alive and taken you back with open arms and an open heart. But when I opened that envelope, I realized that it was really over and that I had to let you go if I was going to survive it. And I have let you go and now I just need to move on with my life. I do love you Rhett, I love you so much that it hurts just being in the same room with you. And that is why I have to ask you again to leave and not come back."

"Scarlett, I–"

"Please Rhett," Scarlett pleaded with tears starting to form in her eyes, "just go."

Rhett crossed the distance from the window to the bed in four long strides and grasping her by the shoulders kissed her once, forcefully but tenderly at the same time. "I'll leave now, but don't think this is over, it's far from it."

Scarlett watched stoically as he walked to the door, opening it quickly. Right before he left he turned and spoke again.

"I love you Scarlett. Please don't forget that and please don't do something that you will regret."

The second the door latch clicked Scarlett fell apart. She could still feel and taste his lips and hers and the careful wall she had built around her heart shattered into a million pieces. She was filled with more love, hate and all the emotions in between in that moment than she had in the past four years combined. She loved Rhett for making her feel that way and hated him even more for the same reason, especially after she had worked so hard to block any kind of emotion out.

She suddenly felt utterly overwhelmed and had no idea how to express all of the emotions that she hadn't felt in so long, but now felt like she was drowning in. So, she decided to do what she always did and picked up the water glass sitting on her bedside table and with a loud cry of frustration threw it across the room into the fireplace before collapsing onto the bed sobbing.

Unbeknownst to Scarlett, Rhett was standing right outside her door during her whole episode. He couldn't help but to feel a sort of grim satisfaction when he heard glass shattering against brick. There was more left of the old Scarlett that she wanted to admit. He knew where she lived now and there was nothing that was going to stop him from getting his family back. He would bring that fire back to her eyes even if it was the last thing he did.


	4. Note from the Author

Okay, I hate when people add a new chapter and its only an AN, but I'm doing it anyways. Sorry.

Those of you that have been around for awhile may remember this story, you might also remember that it had a 4th chapter and it was in incomplete limbo. The reason for that was because I never intended to have more than three chapters to this story, I fully intended to leave it with the ambiguous ended of will or wont Rhett be able to convince Scarlett to come back to him. But then I got an idea for what could happen next, but no ideas for what happened after that. So with the best of intentions I wrote another chapter and posted it with having no idea of just how the story would now end. And so it remained unfinished and untouched for five years.

Fast forward to 2011 I've decided to clean house in terms of my fanfiction and finish off old stories and when I opened up those musty old computer files I realized that this one should have been left as originally intended and marked complete a long time ago.

So what I did was revise the hell out the first three original chapters because talk about typos and awkward sentence structures like whoa, as well as adding and removing a couple of passages and then deleted the fourth chapter. If I ever do get the inspiration to add more to this story I'll do it as a sequel and use what was the fourth chapter as the new first chapter.

And if there is anyone out there who remembers and/or cares about Room and Board or Revelations, I do intend to get those finished up sometime in the near future.

Thanks

CoA


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